Last Friday night was windy, rainy, and freezing. But inside the Cotton Mills Studio? It was HOT - from the steam that emanated from many women listening to the men preach and rant about women’s fashion at the event, “10 Things Guy Need to Know about Fashion, but Women Will Never Tell.” Although the event was meant to give men styling tips, both men and women had the chance to speak their minds on the opposite sex’s fashion choices. And the men definitely had a thing or twenty to tell the ladies on how to dress.
But first, let’s start with the ladies’ side. Their comments were of the “men are slobs” persuasion. The women powwowed about men who neglect to clean their fingernails; men who believe that they are the sex god from an Axe or Old Spice commercial and use their deodorant like it is their cologne; and men who sport chest hair resembling a “Brillo Pad”- the short, wiry hairs that sprout up after shaving (and apparently, have killed many a woman’s mood).
Meanwhile, men seemed to reinforce the truism that they constantly have sex on their brain. On the floor, they took a united stand in guiding women on how to dress like the objects of their booty calls: wear sexy undergarments; wear sexy boots; dress in tight clothes; show more leg than bosom, or alternatively, show off your “best assets.”
But the event left me wondering whether this was really the mainstream opinion among guys. Do men want their women oozing sex appeal any place, any time, as if they are juicy, medium-rare steaks? Are there any other ways to arouse a man’s interest without dressing like
Blake Lively? (Or in other words, is my main dude, who gripes only about cropped dress pants on women, abnormal?)
In order to gain some perspective on this question, I peeped at the note cards left behind by the guests at the end of the night. The fashion prescriptions written down but not voiced at the event ranged from the nitpicky “don’t wear painted eyebrows” and “avoid pointed shoes,” which were deemed “witch-like and intimidating,” to the bizarre and fetishistic, “wear welding masks.” On a basic level, these comments were subjective expressions of individual preferences and objections, making clear that it is nearly impossible for one person to satisfy everybody else’s standards of desirability.
But on another level, the comments intimate that there should be a balance between dressing for one’s self and dressing to present one’s self to others. Clothes contain ideas about the kind of person the wearer might be. People think of women shod in pointed pumps not so much as unfashionable and unstylish but as severe, formidable, and yes, maybe even intimidating.
So dress the way you want to dress, but also dress the way you want to be perceived. To quote one of the guests, “Dress with a purpose and anticipate how you will be treated according to the way you are dressed.”
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